NO ESCAPE

 no escape

having a response

before something is said

welling anger

about something that hasn't happened

an anger response

from that internal thought

you didn't  know was there

it wasn't said

wasn't even there to see

but the internal response 

to the internal thought 

left an internal cut

and it's hated

conversions are not available

not even from ideas of one

no room for them

simmering resentments untouched

hidden fears and angers unresolved

leaving no escape

Al Mendoza, June 2022

BREEZE

Breeze

not wanting to do anything

even sleep is too much

eyelids too weak to close

thought becomes tiresome

slowing breath conserves strength

darkness is rest for the eyes

just waiting for a breeze

a moon for a light

witnessing stars

in the comfort of night

suddenly the nothingness

and that odd jolt

awakens the open eyes

to silence

starlight witnessing eternity moving

in a single breath

any wanting too much

becoming tiresome thought

resting open eyes

not wanting to do anything

just waiting for a breeze

A. Mendoza

6-10-2020

VALLEY

VALLEY

  

where all the air

and the winds will whip

water and snow to ice

while we sequester in place

where the fires fly over the mountains

smoke painted on backdrops of flame

and a world renewed in death, destruction

defining mortality

rebirthed so living fire may feed again

inhaling wind

exhaling flame

breathing as living things do

where silence is more death than peace

and the sun, the clouds, the mountains

stand apart competing

for a night so they may hide

where under the cover of stars

alone with the moon

wind whispering to the the music of mountains 

with a blanket of clouds

an accusation instead 

of a question

do you love

 in the night

it is so hard to see

from the valley

so you must travel

to the mountain

a.mendoza 6-2020

middle

MIDDLE

to discover how weak you are

from the middle of your  strength

the solid middle

gathering through love 

the witness of your soul

in circles surrounding like shadows

making the light bright like a gauze etching

beneath a watercolor

to discover how strong you are

from the middle of your weakness

a solid middle 

the soul your witness 

of etched shadows 

awaiting color

is it fading shadow

or is it fading light

we see in the middle

witnessing through gauze

how easy it is

to be surrounded by the middle

A. Mendoza, September 2019

Roll

ROLL

there's an itch

in the back of my head

marbles rolling around

when I shake it 

from side to side

until the cobwebs

become a net

sewing tighter into a mesh

forming a fabric

of itchy marbles

beady glass that squints

in a darkness that rises

to the ripples forming

a shaken cobweb

the tightened net

of mesh of marbles

in a rising darkness

 no longer needing to squint

 it is so easy to simply

roll side to side

A. Mendoza, Sept 2019

An Opposite of Music

An Opposite of Music

a carafe of coffee steaming

the water for tea boiling

sometimes making up your mind is not an option

the familiar color

and comfort of aromas

 surrounded and comforted

glass reveals the familiar

not twin

no duality

missing a janus entanglement

a breeze and scent

paired yet separate

an opposite of music

A. Mendoza, Sept 2019

running in the dark

RUNNING IN THE DARK

to make an allowance 

for the shadow

written in the dark

avoiding the grey areas

it washes away the colours

allowing light

a white clarity

the only reflection

is pen and paper

running in the darkness

and living a private life

accompanying a Janus dream

that coin that never flips

because it is both

whatever you run from

and whatever you run to

a mirror, a pen and paper

A. Mendoza, 2019

CHANGE

CHANGE

look to the moon and it turns away

gaze into a shining and it hides

find the amazing that becomes covered with darkness

reaching for the light switch 

to find the button

the exit that is entrance

looking through a window from the outside

as the curtain closes

away from a shining moon

that button closed

reaching behind a closed window

the entrance that is exit

to what is hiding from the outside

finding the amazing

A. Mendoza, 2019

Where is it?

Where Is It?

to suddenly miss what was never missed 

before

to realize the pointlessness 

of time


to find something

inside

that magic is the living

the filled moments


discovery

along the ways of quiet

and then the smile

settled is all fate


like that even matters

fate doesn't understand

as we can

promised time is promised waters


along those streams

both frozen and steamed

in waves and rain 

as hail and as reflections


before 

the pointlessness of time 

inside

a discovery 

A. Mendoza, 7/2019

On the Wall

On the Wall

what’s on your mind

is that the solipsism_¹ of no choice

cogito ergo sum_²

are you sure you actually do

veritus³ in the mirror

what is the who

as the when and the thief

an unknown image

ignotum callim apscomsum⁴

cast aside to beyond the moon

to seek Castaly⁵

but find Frankenstein

living with leading strings attached

and plough sands

until we become like Cassiopeia

from living on a bean feast

magical is the thief

but the water has sand on the bottom

and the wine became vinegar

it’s never broken that never promise

mirror mirror

A. Mendoza, 1/24/2019

1internal mental state

2I think therefore I exist

3Truth and Fear

4A strange secret hidden

5A sacred fountain

dElUSIoN

DELUSION

pseudo ego

making the pseudo

gratification

a release of self

as object

and physical entity

a parody soulless

to be murdered

by reality

unconscious annihilation

in that science of nihilism

an ego built

of pure imagination

an illusion of illusion

an awareness of the nothing

that play of light

in the darkness

escaping the great teacher

A. MENDOZA, JANUARY 2019

LOSE

LOSE

because you don’t live there anymore

you lose nothing

in the moment of creation there's change

when the music has played there’s silence

when the breeze passes there’s stillness

in the laughter

and in plain sight

while the love makers touch

creation matters not

silence is the music

stillness becomes the breeze

to play at laughter

and lose nothing

when moment is creation

there in the play is change

because you don’t live there anymore

you walk and lose nothing

A. MENDOZA, 12/2018

LOSE

LOSE

because you don’t live there anymore

you lose nothing

in the moment of creation there's change

when the music has played there’s silence

when the breeze passes there’s stillness

in the laughter

and in plain sight

while the love makers touch

creation matters not

silence is the music

stillness becomes the breeze

to play at laughter

and lose nothing

when moment is creation

there in the play is change

because you don’t live there anymore

you walk and lose nothing

A. MENDOZA, 12/2018

UNSEEN

The 2 Not 1

unseen

to believe the lies

and not see the lies that are

a conviction by convention

no longer and no shorter

than desire

that want unseen

as it presents loudly enough

the present

a conviction by belief

no longer by desire

like a coin

two sides

and an edge

flip it and catch

open and reveal

everything but the edge

that thing that cuts

loudly it presents

no longer no shorter

a lie of desire

and an unseen self

A. Mendoza 12/2018

UNSEEN

unseen

to believe the lies

and not see the lies that are

a conviction by convention

no longer and no shorter

than desire

that want unseen

as it presents loudly enough

the present

a conviction by belief

no longer by desire

like a coin

two sides

and an edge

flip it and catch

open and reveal

everything but the edge

that thing that cuts

loudly it presents

no longer no shorter

a lie of desire

and an unseen self

A. Mendoza 12/2018

Truth, reality and does science matter?

An essay on truth, mathematics and the science often associated to both.

 

Often scientific knowledge, and the mathematics so key, are confused for truth. 

There is a reason why such are always under review and require proofs to verify the veracity of any set of postulations. 

They are the evidence of reality, a description that can be used and not the actual truth itself.

 Often the argument against or for any truth is by example. 

Example is not the realm of math or science, description is. 

Truth is not part of "what if," truth deals in absolutes. 

The abuse of truth usually is just to pervert the entire idea of truth. 

The same done to science and math is an entire collapse of any postulation. 

There is a difference between perversions and collapse. 

Perversions can continue while a collapse fails to continue. 

A building may be a church or drug den, the building is itself outside of use based on truth. 

The perversion itself is even outside of function. 

The truth would be regarding the drug den or the church. 

The valuation of anything assigned as "truth" has a basis not built any truth itself that is provable. 

Yet, there is a need to build something concrete to rely on. 

Truth is an ethereal reality seemingly outside of the something like a concrete building and both are part of what we experience as real. 

Then it becomes complicated, there is the issue of other living things and creatures. 

Putting ourselves into reality and making "truth" about things leaves open the issue of what are living things and where are the boundaries of the absolutes of truth. 

We can't even agree what are the truths of ourselves before even any dealings with behavior. 

This is obvious with something so straight forward as managing how are environment is handled, how wealth is viewed, how even water is allocated. 

Truths, and the definitions of absolutes attached, literally contradict each other. 

In other words, there is no truth to truth in sciences, that belongs to the absolutes that cannot be proved which, by definition, make them false.

So there is the issue, truth is not what can be reasoned. 

Reason, the realm of math and science, fails in the face of truth. 

Truth fails in its absolutes since it is not provable by even it's own descriptions. 

Reality cares not for what we call truth, truth is pointless to reality. 

So where does truth matter? 

It matters in the spaces we exist in.

 What is true in the desert varies from that in the snow peaks or a rain forest. 

Reality is often, for us, as we live in our spaces, those influences what we find true. 

To lie in reality for us, invites destruction. 

Truth for us promotes thriving. 

Reality is eternal, truth it seems, is very temporary; a thing to be manipulated as required, or, desired.

The Roman Pilate questioned the very thing we still struggle with, "What is truth, is it unchanging law? We both have truths, is yours the same as mine?" 

The reality of what Roman truths built are still evident millennia later. 

It could be we build truth to create reality for ourselves. 

How we build our reality says much about our truths. 

Maybe truth isn't the absolute as often promoted, maybe it's the being.

That almost sounds divine.

Maybe in that eternity science becomes part of truth.

A. Mendoza, 9/2018

Truth, reality and does science matter?

An essay on truth, mathematics and the science often associated to both.

 

Often scientific knowledge, and the mathematics so key, are confused for truth. 

There is a reason why such are always under review and require proofs to verify the veracity of any set of postulations. 

They are the evidence of reality, a description that can be used and not the actual truth itself.

 Often the argument against or for any truth is by example. 

Example is not the realm of math or science, description is. 

Truth is not part of "what if," truth deals in absolutes. 

The abuse of truth usually is just to pervert the entire idea of truth. 

The same done to science and math is an entire collapse of any postulation. 

There is a difference between perversions and collapse. 

Perversions can continue while a collapse fails to continue. 

A building may be a church or drug den, the building is itself outside of use based on truth. 

The perversion itself is even outside of function. 

The truth would be regarding the drug den or the church. 

The valuation of anything assigned as "truth" has a basis not built any truth itself that is provable. 

Yet, there is a need to build something concrete to rely on. 

Truth is an ethereal reality seemingly outside of the something like a concrete building and both are part of what we experience as real. 

Then it becomes complicated, there is the issue of other living things and creatures. 

Putting ourselves into reality and making "truth" about things leaves open the issue of what are living things and where are the boundaries of the absolutes of truth. 

We can't even agree what are the truths of ourselves before even any dealings with behavior. 

This is obvious with something so straight forward as managing how are environment is handled, how wealth is viewed, how even water is allocated. 

Truths, and the definitions of absolutes attached, literally contradict each other. 

In other words, there is no truth to truth in sciences, that belongs to the absolutes that cannot be proved which, by definition, make them false.

So there is the issue, truth is not what can be reasoned. 

Reason, the realm of math and science, fails in the face of truth. 

Truth fails in its absolutes since it is not provable by even it's own descriptions. 

Reality cares not for what we call truth, truth is pointless to reality. 

So where does truth matter? 

It matters in the spaces we exist in.

 What is true in the desert varies from that in the snow peaks or a rain forest. 

Reality is often, for us, as we live in our spaces, those influences what we find true. 

To lie in reality for us, invites destruction. 

Truth for us promotes thriving. 

Reality is eternal, truth it seems, is very temporary; a thing to be manipulated as required, or, desired.

The Roman Pilate questioned the very thing we still struggle with, "What is truth, is it unchanging law? We both have truths, is yours the same as mine?" 

The reality of what Roman truths built are still evident millennia later. 

It could be we build truth to create reality for ourselves. 

How we build our reality says much about our truths. 

Maybe truth isn't the absolute as often promoted, maybe it's the being.

That almost sounds divine.

Maybe in that eternity science becomes part of truth.

A. Mendoza, 9/2018

Is democracy dying?

“If men were angels, no government would be necessary,” “Federalist No. 51” states.

Thoughts on a couple of well done articles, of which this is one.

The rule of law and the rule of opinion seem to always run into each other. Having a moral compass and some decency are lacking by way too many of those in positions of power and, worse, too many of us. Love and peace are often scoffed at as invalid, childish or an evidence of some type of deficiency in character.

Very Backwards.

Reducing social moray to primate rule of law is as self destructive as it sounds.

An elephant will paint if encouraged by us. A great ape will learn sign language if we teach it. Birds, dogs, even insects and plants will sing and dance to music we make.
Even the planet we live on responds to us.
There is the evidence of our divine natures.

We also can kill any living creature pretty much at will.

We have free will do good or evil, be divine of devilish, chose GOD or the evil one.

The Founding Fathers learnt much from the battles that formed the United States.
Freewill takes courage to make freedom worth it. Honor and honesty are tough, that's what makes America is hard. Maybe that's why on a dollar bill "In God We Trust" is there to remind us what is important.

A. Mendoza, 9/2018

https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/is-democracy-dying/

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/10/editors-note-the-crisis-in-democracy/568276/?utm_source=pocket&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pockethits