Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts

9/19/2019

MUSIC


MUSIC


the bemusement in the eyes

and the pain as the witness

repressed emotions boil over

heated by shame


fuel of memories love

when I was called a good man

when I was told I was loved

completeness that smile,  that joy


now stoked by humiliation

until those embers become ashes

like the ashes of the loved

the bemusement as wind


to witness in horror

how casual that dismissal

of such treasures

by a single breeze


now only a convenience

and casual enjoyment

where once the soul

recited that music


A. Mendoza, 2019








12/07/2016

THE GIFT

 

THE GIFT

 

she left her image behind 
what i found
was her likeness of me
i the mere reflection
and no longer near

tandem incomplete
reading as a gift
a single poetic
the two little books
new pictures for the mind

gentle Hafiz
damaged Kerouac
pained by the obvious
that they can touch

cupped offerings
needing pails
gentle Kerouac
damaged Hafiz
overflows



A. MENDOZA, 2016

 

THE GIFT

 

THE GIFT

 

she left her image behind 
what i found
was her likeness of me
i the mere reflection
and no longer near

tandem incomplete
reading as a gift
a single poetic
the two little books
new pictures for the mind

gentle Hafiz
damaged Kerouac
pained by the obvious
that they can touch

cupped offerings
needing pails
gentle Kerouac
damaged Hafiz
overflows



A. MENDOZA, 2016

 

12/06/2016

the immoral ignorant

 

the immoral ignorant


from immigrant
to immoral ignorant

as no truth ever need told
there it lies in the open

in closed soul the deceit
of greed.


in trust we greed
there is the seed

that as piles
lies unashamed

we see no disgust
a joke for fools

immoral ignorant
from immigrant

A. MENDOZA, 2016






the immoral ignorant

 

the immoral ignorant


from immigrant
to immoral ignorant

as no truth ever need told
there it lies in the open

in closed soul the deceit
of greed.


in trust we greed
there is the seed

that as piles
lies unashamed

we see no disgust
a joke for fools

immoral ignorant
from immigrant

A. MENDOZA, 2016






12/04/2016

AT HOME

 


LOST

lost key
the not knowing is disquieting
the not seeing makes for a blindness
then there is a darkness
then there comes the fear

in the fear of lost key
a loneliness
a not knowing
of the darkness alone
and locked out
in blindness

where is the key to sight
when the darkness comes
as the fear falls
in the loneliness
blind to the key

lost


A. MENDOZA,2016







AT HOME

 


LOST

lost key
the not knowing is disquieting
the not seeing makes for a blindness
then there is a darkness
then there comes the fear

in the fear of lost key
a loneliness
a not knowing
of the darkness alone
and locked out
in blindness

where is the key to sight
when the darkness comes
as the fear falls
in the loneliness
blind to the key

lost


A. MENDOZA,2016







12/02/2016

A TRAIN TO LOS LANCASTER


 TRAIN TO LOS LANCASTER



a minstrel mockingbird's
voice is false

poetic parrots
imagine not a stanza

spinning spiders can walk in straight lines
suspending acrobatic

drowning fish will not come up for air
never needing to be saved

working unnaturally makes cooking
a twist of good meals

often planned
trips are trained
a train is planned
set in steel

chosen path
steel rail nailed
on a wood cross

eternal never tiring wheel
the steel tire
in their best attire
new or used

moving shadows
rolling pictures
patient in curve
patient in movement

depending on new or used tires
circles eternal
direction to next direct moment
steel new or used

preordained paths for each rail
sometimes new sometimes used
iron rails on the cross of wood
nails, spikes mark the path

some times harder to follow a road
when it's easier to walk a path
hunched over in bad sleep
with floppy crushed lungs

eyes down and intense
suffocating in the mist of all that free air
like dying of thirst on the sea

to choke in the thing that is the most free
a pointless enslavement of self
for nothing
what irony

just to wind up with nothing
never knowing why
on iron nails on wood cross
an unplanned trip that's trained

what irony
to find guide posts
when many a paths' roads
are a surprise

A. MENDOZA, 2016




BETWEEN AUTUMN AND WINTER



BETWEEN AUTUMN AND WINTER


many words for single thoughts
too many thoughts for single words
not enough for silent moments

soon December falls
like snow gentle and autumn like
as soft as the breeze whispers

a single moment
a single word for too many thoughts
not enough single moments

a winter moment
fills itself like a snow gentle
the breeze whispers

life like are the whispers
words that you've always wanted to hear
that you've always wanted to touch

never enough words
never enough thoughts
never enough silent Autumn

enough silence
to speak words
whispering snow now speaks

autumn like winter
falls in a gentle night
like a silence snow speaks

too many words
for a single thought
a breeze whispers
moments

A. MENDOZA, 2016


BETWEEN AUTUMN AND WINTER



BETWEEN AUTUMN AND WINTER


many words for single thoughts
too many thoughts for single words
not enough for silent moments

soon December falls
like snow gentle and autumn like
as soft as the breeze whispers

a single moment
a single word for too many thoughts
not enough single moments

a winter moment
fills itself like a snow gentle
the breeze whispers

life like are the whispers
words that you've always wanted to hear
that you've always wanted to touch

never enough words
never enough thoughts
never enough silent Autumn

enough silence
to speak words
whispering snow now speaks

autumn like winter
falls in a gentle night
like a silence snow speaks

too many words
for a single thought
a breeze whispers
moments

A. MENDOZA, 2016


A TRAIN TO LOS LANCASTER


 TRAIN TO LOS LANCASTER



a minstrel mockingbird's
voice is false

poetic parrots
imagine not a stanza

spinning spiders can walk in straight lines
suspending acrobatic

drowning fish will not come up for air
never needing to be saved

working unnaturally makes cooking
a twist of good meals

often planned
trips are trained
a train is planned
set in steel

chosen path
steel rail nailed
on a wood cross

eternal never tiring wheel
the steel tire
in their best attire
new or used

moving shadows
rolling pictures
patient in curve
patient in movement

depending on new or used tires
circles eternal
direction to next direct moment
steel new or used

preordained paths for each rail
sometimes new sometimes used
iron rails on the cross of wood
nails, spikes mark the path

some times harder to follow a road
when it's easier to walk a path
hunched over in bad sleep
with floppy crushed lungs

eyes down and intense
suffocating in the mist of all that free air
like dying of thirst on the sea

to choke in the thing that is the most free
a pointless enslavement of self
for nothing
what irony

just to wind up with nothing
never knowing why
on iron nails on wood cross
an unplanned trip that's trained

what irony
to find guide posts
when many a paths' roads
are a surprise

A. MENDOZA, 2016




A PLACE CALLED WATER

 A PLACE CALLED WATER



water’s ocean from below
pounding surf
sea spray carried by wind

turning sand and sun
in sweeping waves of punishment on body
taking in the last of fall
before the sheets of summer
before the final end of warmth

time of brisk sea and air
hot tea evenings
flowing together
to the never ending clock of tides

time to move on again

along the black ribbon
along the 9k rim at 130 kilometers
far north in the dome of a clear sky
in the twilight curtain before moonlight
there is the lightning

rhythm flashing reflections
glows of the echoes in a sky high canyon wall
lightning silently re-imagines my fleeting shadow
there is no north in view
now even the night hides


then an odd coincidence
the contrived measures of time
become binary
1010- on off, on, off
are subject to the flashing lightning
suddenly moving at 130 kilometers at 9k
stillness
for a blink
the strobe of insight
at 130 kpm, at 9k
nothing
total darkness
to total light
and they were the same

then there was a sudden dissatisfaction
as each instance open and closed
nothing seemed to have importance
total sight was total darkness
and the reality was in between
where is the sky?
The moon is nowhere to be seen
everything completely dominated by cloud cover

suddenly the ribbon becomes a slide
as the glimpses
left and right reveal the rising escarpment
of both sides
as the tunnel plunges downward
suddenly the walls drop away
the lighting’s ever widening view
becomes chaotic
and then there was the vast plain
spread open to the moon
an innocent beauty untouchable

finally, it rains
this is not water like the sea
no spray like foams carried on a breeze
not a water swelling from below
surf pounding the willing body
a water of sand, sea and surf

a water of a lighter texture
a whole different taste
driven by wind in a cold mountain night

standing in the frigid air becoming covered from above
swept by water onto face and limbs
water without the rhythm of the sea
a different type of relentlessness
bathing in magnificent thunder
coated by lightning
ice cold rain

water very unlike yesterdays rising waves
pulled by gravity and cast by wind
this water falls and is driven by storm

then it is time to move on again
not all who wander are lost

A.MENDOZA, 2016




A PLACE CALLED WATER

 A PLACE CALLED WATER



water’s ocean from below
pounding surf
sea spray carried by wind

turning sand and sun
in sweeping waves of punishment on body
taking in the last of fall
before the sheets of summer
before the final end of warmth

time of brisk sea and air
hot tea evenings
flowing together
to the never ending clock of tides

time to move on again

along the black ribbon
along the 9k rim at 130 kilometers
far north in the dome of a clear sky
in the twilight curtain before moonlight
there is the lightning

rhythm flashing reflections
glows of the echoes in a sky high canyon wall
lightning silently re-imagines my fleeting shadow
there is no north in view
now even the night hides


then an odd coincidence
the contrived measures of time
become binary
1010- on off, on, off
are subject to the flashing lightning
suddenly moving at 130 kilometers at 9k
stillness
for a blink
the strobe of insight
at 130 kpm, at 9k
nothing
total darkness
to total light
and they were the same

then there was a sudden dissatisfaction
as each instance open and closed
nothing seemed to have importance
total sight was total darkness
and the reality was in between
where is the sky?
The moon is nowhere to be seen
everything completely dominated by cloud cover

suddenly the ribbon becomes a slide
as the glimpses
left and right reveal the rising escarpment
of both sides
as the tunnel plunges downward
suddenly the walls drop away
the lighting’s ever widening view
becomes chaotic
and then there was the vast plain
spread open to the moon
an innocent beauty untouchable

finally, it rains
this is not water like the sea
no spray like foams carried on a breeze
not a water swelling from below
surf pounding the willing body
a water of sand, sea and surf

a water of a lighter texture
a whole different taste
driven by wind in a cold mountain night

standing in the frigid air becoming covered from above
swept by water onto face and limbs
water without the rhythm of the sea
a different type of relentlessness
bathing in magnificent thunder
coated by lightning
ice cold rain

water very unlike yesterdays rising waves
pulled by gravity and cast by wind
this water falls and is driven by storm

then it is time to move on again
not all who wander are lost

A.MENDOZA, 2016




SOMETHING

SOMETHING




often what is learned
comes from what is unknown
a non-learned
not knowing
blissful ignorance
what a walk
to step out of reality

to an unheard music
cannot dance
trapped and frozen
without direction
to no rhythm

no steps to take for steps to make
a paralyzed body
barely breathing
learning to dance is difficult
when you cannot walk

is it deafness
is it ignorance
when you cannot hear rhythm
such is the unreality
of direction

no steps to take 
no steps to make
a paralyzed body
barely breathing
can the unlearned
become the unknown

is the not knowing
a blissful ignorance
outside of reality
heard music
traps rhythm

even a paralyzed body
will breath
to its own beat

the death of ignorance
becomes the death of deafness
you cannot trap and freeze
heard music


somethings outside of reality
somethings blissful ignorance
somethings trapped
somethings frozen
somethings not learned
somethings barely breathing
somethings without music
somethings that are us
will dance



A. MENDOZA, 2016


SOMETHING

SOMETHING




often what is learned
comes from what is unknown
a non-learned
not knowing
blissful ignorance
what a walk
to step out of reality

to an unheard music
cannot dance
trapped and frozen
without direction
to no rhythm

no steps to take for steps to make
a paralyzed body
barely breathing
learning to dance is difficult
when you cannot walk

is it deafness
is it ignorance
when you cannot hear rhythm
such is the unreality
of direction

no steps to take 
no steps to make
a paralyzed body
barely breathing
can the unlearned
become the unknown

is the not knowing
a blissful ignorance
outside of reality
heard music
traps rhythm

even a paralyzed body
will breath
to its own beat

the death of ignorance
becomes the death of deafness
you cannot trap and freeze
heard music


somethings outside of reality
somethings blissful ignorance
somethings trapped
somethings frozen
somethings not learned
somethings barely breathing
somethings without music
somethings that are us
will dance



A. MENDOZA, 2016


11/14/2016

to show


TO SHOW



sheets lined
 star facing toward

windward dropping sails

that say less unfurled

airless wind at a loss

unfilled sails




moonlight by day

never matters more

by night

even when guided

by star light




lite by starlight

surrounding the day unseen

like a dark music

or a windless sail unfurled

airless wind found at a loss

sheets unlined dropped




unfulfilled sails

like a moon by day

patient until the night returns

because light matters most

when the sails are unfurled

to catch the surrounding

dark music



A. Mendoza, 2016



to show


TO SHOW



sheets lined
 star facing toward

windward dropping sails

that say less unfurled

airless wind at a loss

unfilled sails




moonlight by day

never matters more

by night

even when guided

by star light




lite by starlight

surrounding the day unseen

like a dark music

or a windless sail unfurled

airless wind found at a loss

sheets unlined dropped




unfulfilled sails

like a moon by day

patient until the night returns

because light matters most

when the sails are unfurled

to catch the surrounding

dark music



A. Mendoza, 2016



11/06/2016

DOUBLE VISION

Double Vision

mis-understanding a double vision
emotion becomes the moment
only what is felt is left
cold precision of time melts down feeling
when the moment of emotion overwhelms eternity
knowledge freezes the flowing

blind to even what is seen
that flowing frozen time
eternal in its moment
when knowing that what is felt
becomes the reason for what is meant
to be frozen in time
a double vision

clocks over ice
a sweetened drink swirling
frozen moments mixed
what is frozen cannot flood
an emotional ice age
doubly seen as what it is
as what it will it be


eternity's moment overwhelms
a ticking frozen knowledge
mis-understood emotions
melting into moments
in the cold precision of time
swirling like a clock over ice
holding with both hands
a double vision


A.MENDOZA,2016



DOUBLE VISION

Double Vision

mis-understanding a double vision
emotion becomes the moment
only what is felt is left
cold precision of time melts down feeling
when the moment of emotion overwhelms eternity
knowledge freezes the flowing

blind to even what is seen
that flowing frozen time
eternal in its moment
when knowing that what is felt
becomes the reason for what is meant
to be frozen in time
a double vision

clocks over ice
a sweetened drink swirling
frozen moments mixed
what is frozen cannot flood
an emotional ice age
doubly seen as what it is
as what it will it be


eternity's moment overwhelms
a ticking frozen knowledge
mis-understood emotions
melting into moments
in the cold precision of time
swirling like a clock over ice
holding with both hands
a double vision


A.MENDOZA,2016